The Laura Line

Laura Dyson loves three things in life:  fashion and modeling, baseball, and that chunky hunky Troy Bailey!  Kids at school make fun of her because she's a little overweight, Troy barely acknowledges her existence, and she's never told anyone outside of her family about loving baseball.  She doesn't want to give them any more ammunition to use against her--a girl pitching baseball.

Despite this, Laura is pretty happy.  She has her best friend, Sage, for support.  Everything goes wrong when she has to spend two weeks with her grandmother at the farm while her parents are away at their National Guard training.  Heck to the double no!  Laura knows her grandmother will bore her to tears with all her talk about the slave shack and the Laura Line.  She doesn't see why anyone would be proud of that symbol of injustice in her family.  Plus, her grandmother knows nothing about baseball!

But Laura doesn't have a choice, and with Sage making a play for the more popular kids(doesn't she see they're just using her?), and Troy and his dad taking care of her grandmother's yard (sweet mother of chunky hunkies!), and a class field trip to the slave shack (oh, heck to the double no), her life is about to be turned upside down.

Crystal Allen's new book is about staying true to yourself and finding strength and courage in those who came before.  Don't miss the author at the book festival this Saturday!

Crystal Allen!

Gordon Korman!

Ship Out of Luck

Antsy Bonano is back in a new book that takes him into international waters.  Old man Crawley wants to celebrate his 80th birthday in style and not alone, so he has invited (commanded) Antsy's family to join him in the best suite on a new and fabulous cruise ship.

Things will never go as planned for our hapless hero starting with a case of missing luggage, but that's the least of his worries.  Antsy quickly gets involved with beautiful stowaway, Tilde, and her plans to help some Mexican immigrants in a not so legal way.

Join the Antsy and company on another funny and thoughtful adventure from one of my favorite authors, Neal Shusterman!

The 9 Lives of Alexander Baddenfield

Alexander Baddenfield is the last in a long line of Baddenfields, each one worse than the one before.  This means Alexander is pretty terrible.  The Baddenfields always die young but appropriately.  For example, the Baddenfield trying to hunt wild and endangered animals was trampled to death by them.

The only reason the Baddenfields live as long as they do is the Winterbottoms.  Winterbottoms have be taking care of Baddenfields for as long as anyone can remember, and Alexander and his Winterbottom are no exception.

But Alexander has come up with a new plan to do all the terrible and dangerous things he's ever wanted to do with no consequences.  He just needs to find a mad scientist doctor to take his cat's extra eight lives and transfer them to him!  It's a brilliant plan really.  Shaddenfrood just lays around sleeping and purring all day.  Alexander could be those lives to much better use.

This book is the story of how Alexander stole and used those lives, but beware, this is not some touchy-feely-becoming-a-better-person book.  Alexander is definitely bad to the bitter end.  Make sure you keep reading past "The End" for a glimpse of what will happen in his tenth and final existence!

John Bemelmans Marciano's story is funny, sinister, and disgusting, and Sophie Blackall's illustrations really take this story from bad to worse!

Flora and Ulysses: The Illuminated Adventures

This is an amazing that all begins with a vacuum cleaner, the Ulysses Super-Suction, Multi-Terrain 2000X to be exact.  When this high powered machine gets loose in the back yard, one unsuspecting squirrel will be changed forever.  That's right, one squirrel will be sucked into the rampaging vacuum and come out with super powers (but very little hair)!

Flora and Ulysses (named after the vacuum) quickly bond, and Flora must do everything in her power to save the super squirrel for arch enemies and evil cats!

But that's not all, their adventures will change Flora forever.  She'll meet new friends, make startling discoveries and maybe discover that she isn't such a hard-hearted cynic after all.

This book was great fun to read, and K. G. Campbell's illustrations and panels are wonderful!  Kate DiCamillo is also the author of Because of Winn-Dixie, and her fans won't be dissappointed.  This is a fun loving book with a heart of gold!

Fortunately, the Milk

This short novel is just as clever and wonderful as all of Gaiman's work.  (I'm a fan.)  When the mother goes out of town leaving her children with their father, he forgets the milk for their breakfast cereal.  It takes longer than expected for him to return, and when his children demand to know where he has been, the father spins a tale of aliens, pirates, dinosaurs, cannibals, and just about everything else you can think of!

Fortunately, he manages to hold tight to the milk through all of this so he can save his children's breakfast!  I got a sneak peak of this one when I went to Neil Gaiman's reading/book signing in June.  He did a bonus reading because he loved the Majestic Theater so much!

The Templeton Twins Have an Idea

Are you a Lemony Snicket fan?  Do you like funny stories with lots of action?  If so, you will love this book!

When the Templeton Twins and their inventor father move to a new town and university for a new teaching position, they have no idea how crazy their lives are about to become.

As the professor's first speech, Dean D. Dean shows up protesting that Professor Templeton stole one of his ideas.  Professor Templeton tries to calm the man down, but Dean is insistent, and things are soon out of control!  With a strict nanny, a ridiculous dog, and nefarious identical twins bent on kidnapping and extortion, this is one adventure you won't be able to put down!

You'll love this first book in the serious by Ellis Weiner, illustrated by Jeremy Holmes. and narrated by a snarky and mysterious narrator!

Planet Tad

When Tad gets his dad's old computer as a Christmas gift, he decides to start a blog to record his deep thoughts and random adventures.  He has four goals for this year:  survive seventh grade, get girls to notice him, learn to do a kickflip, and start shaving.  Pretty much all of that, plus more, goes horribly and hilariously wrong.

Don't expect a straightforward story line with this book, but you should expect plenty of laughs as Tad blunders through his seventh grade year!

With plenty of misadventures, questionable choices, and even a mystery, fans of the Wimpy Kid books will love Tad!

Author Tim Carvell is a writer for The Daily Show With Jon Stewart and has been writing as Tad for Mad Magazine for several years.

Aaron-Martin, Tink--The girl who is so grounded this summer that she decided to write an encyclopedia of her life.

Aaron-Martin, Twins--These are the two older brothers who drive Tink crazy just with general older-brotherness from Lex and older-brotherness plus autism from Seb.  This will be a real source of frustration in Tink's life!

Afro--The hairstyle Tink is stuck with, but maybe it's not as terrible as she's always thought.

Anderson, Freddie Blue--Tink's BFF (maybe).  These two girls once did everything together, but now FB is acting weird and fake.  Plus, FB called dibs on Tink's cute (maybe) new neighbor.

Blue-haired boy--Kai is Tink's new neighbor, and even though she knows it's wrong to have a crush on the boy her BFF is crushing on, she just can't help it!  This might not be a problem anyway since Tink turns into a total spaz around Kai anyway!

Encyclopedia of Me, The--You should definitely read Karen Rivers's book!  It is filled with the laughter and heartbreak of Tink's summer before 8th grade year.  A lot can change in a summer, but maybe change isn't always terrible.

P.S.  You must read the footnotes!  They are some of the funniest parts of the book!

Ungifted

I was really excited when I saw Gordon Korman's new book, and now that I've read it, I think it's my favorite of all his books!

When Donovan Curtis pulls a small prank with unexpectedly huge consequences, he starts a chain of events that will take him from Hardcastle Middle School to the Academy of Scholastic Distinction.  His placement at the Academy is definitely a mistake, but he figures it's the perfect place to hide out from a school superintendent bent on revenge.

At first Donovan doesn't get along with the Academy kids at all.  He resents the gifted kids' new school filled with great equipment compared to the outdated and crumbling school for the normal kids.  Plus, these kids are more than a little strange and reject him as "ungifted" right from the start, but it doesn't take long until Donovan is making his mark in robotics.  No, he has no idea how to do any of the work on the robot, but without even trying, he seems to humanize the robot and unify the team. 

Donovan's presence at the Academy is causing all kinds of ripples, some good and some bad, but he is desperate to stay in, not only to save himself but to give his family something good in a see of problems.  With a pregnant sister whose husband is in Afghanistan, a sick dog, and financial troubles, Donovan doesn't see how telling the truth can possible make things better.

While Donovan is giving the gifted kids a glimpse of normal life, they might just be changing his perspective, too.  This book is funny and unexpected, a must read!

Guys Read: Funny Business

This collection of short stories is the first in a new series edited by Jon Scieszka, author of The Stinky Cheese Man, The True Story of the Three Little Pigs, and other hilarious tales.  These ten stories are by some of our favorite authors, and the book even includes a brief bibliography for each author.

Some of the stories include:

• a boy who will do anything for the chocolate adventure of a lifetime!
• a series of letters between a seemingly unconcerned kid and a surprisingly snarky author.
• a homicidal turkey!
• a boy who's parents give his bedroom to a particularly disgusting biker.
• and a really disgusting, but hilarious story about a boy who will do anything!

If you enjoy Funny Business, you should also try Guys Read:  Thriller and Guys Write for Guys Read.

Check out the Guys Read website for more info about the series, including upcoming publications, additional recommendations, and lots of other guy friendly stuff. 

How Lamar's Bad Prank Won a Bubba-Sized Trophy

Lamar Washington is the maddest, baddest bowler at Striker's Bowling Paradise.  But bowling isn't his only game; he and his best friend Sergio have spent their days pulling pranks on anyone and everyone, but it's all in good fun.

Outside of the bowling alley, Lamar is dealing with some pretty serious issues at home.  Since his mom died, he feels like no one really cares about him.  His dad is all wrapped up in Lamar's older brother, Xavier the basketball savior, and the brothers' relationship is worse than bad.

When Lamar tries to get some attention from this super fine soccer goddess at Strikers, he begins to realize that maybe all those pranks weren't as funny to everyone else as they were to him.

Things really take a turn for the worse when Lamar starts hanging out with Billy Jenks.  Lamar has always heard that Billy is a delinquent, but he seems so different now that they are spending more time together.  But time with Billy is causing problems with Sergio and making Lamar focus on all the negative parts of his family life.

At least he has something to look forward to; his bowling idol, Bubba Sanders is coming to town on the fourth of July.

But Lamar makes one colossally bad decision that jeopardizes everything.  Holy crackers and cream cheese!  Now he has to try to find a way to be a real man and earn the respect of his family and friends all over again.

This book will make you laugh out loud and make you think!  This is the first book from Corpus Christi author, Crystal Allen.

Fake Mustache

This is the new book from Origami Yoda author, Tom Angleberger, and it's another winner!  The subtitle pretty much says it all:  or, How Jodie O'Rodeo and Her Wonder Horse (and Some Nerdy Kid) Saved the U.S. Presidential Election from a Mad Genius Criminal Mastermind. Hilarity ensues.  One of you lucky gators will win an autographed copy of this book at the Biggest Reader party, too!  (We also have signed copies of Origami Yoda and Darth Paper.)

It all starts when Lenny Flem's best friend Casper buys a new man-about-town suit and the Heidelberg Handlebar Number Seven, a fake mustache with amazing powers of hypnotism and deception.  Soon a string of highly successful robberies begins.  Lenny suspects his friend Casper, but no one believes the robber is a kid.  He's just a sort of short man about town with a mustache, and Casper is too young to have a mustache.

But Casper's plans are bigger than just robbing banks.  He is hungry for power, and with the Heidelberg Handlebar, no one can stop him.  Even Lenny considers giving up until he come face to face with Jodie O'Rodeo, preteen cowgirl and star of her own (recently cancelled) TV show.  Can these two foil Casper's plans?  And perhaps more importantly, can a preteen cowgirl queen ever love a slightly nerdy, slightly short, regular seventh grader?  Read to find out!

No trailer yet, but I'll add one when I can find it. :)

The Fourth Stall

Mac is a kid who can make things happen.  If you have a problem, he's the guy who can fix it...with the help of his best friend, Vince, of course.  Together they are the secret rulers of the school from their office in an unused, out of the way bathroom.  They use their profits to expand the business and to feed the Game Fund in hopes that maybe this year the Cubs will make it to the World Series.

Things are going great for Mac.  There's a line of kids outside his office everyday clamoring for his services.  If they can't pay with case, there is always the favor option, or for real hard luck cases, Mac might do the work pro bono.

Things are great, that is, until a third grader named Fred shows up with a story about gambling debts and the biggest bully in town, a bully so big that kids have been telling stories about him forever, so big that Mac always sort of believed he was just a story, a horror story, but no one to really worry about.  But Fred insists that Staples is real and that he is running an extensive gambling ring on Mac's turf.

Mac knows this case will be tough, but he has no idea how bad things will eventually get.  Maybe he's not as smart as he thought.  Maybe Staples really can take down his business and destroy his life.

What a great read!  This book is part mafia saga, part hard boiling private detective story, and part middle school; it has action, suspense, baseball, and humor.  You won't be able to put it down!

Don't forget to check out Chris Rylander's website.  It's also pretty entertaining. :)

2012-2013 Lone Star List

Watch this video from Chris Rylander.  It's AWESOME!